Mark is joined once more by Neuroshambles favourite Pete Wharmby as they take a deep dive into rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD). They look at what RSD actually is, why it isn't an official diagnosis, and why it's most famously linked with ADHD but seems to show up across other neurodivergent people too.
Pete shares how RSD plays out for him, from avoiding his own Amazon reviews to the rumination that can write off a whole week, and why he suspects much of what gets called RSD is really a trauma response to a lifetime of corrective criticism. Mark brings tales from the trenches of his own neurochaotic setup to discuss how RSD could be showing up differently in his three kids.
Along the way they unpick perfectionism, people pleasing, the class clown and what we can do to help reduce the impact of RSD for our neurodivergent kids.
Chapter Timestamps (Estimated)
- 00:00 – Intro to episode 64
- 00:53 – Meet the guest: Pete Wharmby returns (and starting secondary school)
- 03:35 – Topic of the week: what is RSD, and why isn't it an official diagnosis?
- 08:42 – ADHD, autism or both?
- 11:19 – Is RSD its own thing, or a trauma response to being neurodivergent?
- 14:16 – "Everyone hates criticism": scepticism, a one-star review and Pete's Amazon pages
- 19:20 – Self-esteem, the scales of criticism and a lifetime of micro-corrections
- 25:32 – How RSD shows up in kids: school, meltdowns, rumination and monotropism
- 31:38 – Avoidance: Otto, table tennis and the football trial
- 42:35 – Perfectionism, people pleasing and the class clown
- 50:22 – Denial: India and the spilt water
- 57:46 – Bad losers: Jay, rage-quitting and the table tennis club
- 1:06:07 – How parents can respond: kid gloves, picking battles and specific feedback
- 1:12:54 – Praise that gets through the RSD shield
- 1:17:47 – It's not all rubbish
- 1:20:36 – Neurodiversity Champions
- 1:25:05 – Tiny Epic Wins
- 1:29:29 – What the Flip Moments
- 1:32:53 – Wrap-up
Links to stuff we mention in this episode
Different Minds: How We Can Help Our Autistic School Children Thrive, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/06eJRnUX
Pete Wharmby’s website: https://petewharmby.com/
Emily Katy’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itsemilykaty/
Emily Katy Substack - https://itsemilykaty.substack.com/p/i-walked-300-miles-on-the-south-west
Spilling the Tea on Autism and ADHD, Michaela Silsby - https://www.instagram.com/spilling_the_tea_on_autism/
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) - https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/
The double empathy problem - https://www.autism.org.uk/learn/knowledge-hub/professional-practice/double-empathy
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